what we started

the ants tried to get

my canned cheese and

ended up keeping my

sleeping bag warm

the wind blew the deer

midnight grazed next to my

tent and crashed off into

the jeffrey pines then

at eight thousand feet

i slept

my two little lights and

my one love

i am not good enough

or strong enough

i won my life by chance

by waiting and looking

for my chance

i knew the moment and for that

i get the life

now forever choosing to

get better and stronger

never to spirit-sleep again

never to cast myself to the

rocks below after dancing

on red candy wires made of old

books and singing men who

were never good enough

never strong enough

it’s real now

he said “i didn’t know

it would be so hard to be seven”

she said “i miss you, daddy”

my one love always with me

smart and true and she loves me

even though i am not

good enough

not strong enough

sunrise and my ants

and i wake to green’s

pounding pace

not good enough

not strong enough

i will struggle ferociously

stave off the darkness

save the light in a

fighting retreat to the

north shore no despair

no despair

someday the life tides

will swell and smash me on the rocks

honorably then

may i be grokked

good enough?

i will struggle

with joy

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