the ants tried to get
my canned cheese and
ended up keeping my
sleeping bag warm
the wind blew the deer
midnight grazed next to my
tent and crashed off into
the jeffrey pines then
at eight thousand feet
i slept
my two little lights and
my one love
i am not good enough
or strong enough
i won my life by chance
by waiting and looking
for my chance
i knew the moment and for that
i get the life
now forever choosing to
get better and stronger
never to spirit-sleep again
never to cast myself to the
rocks below after dancing
on red candy wires made of old
books and singing men who
were never good enough
never strong enough
it’s real now
he said “i didn’t know
it would be so hard to be seven”
she said “i miss you, daddy”
my one love always with me
smart and true and she loves me
even though i am not
good enough
not strong enough
sunrise and my ants
and i wake to green’s
pounding pace
not good enough
not strong enough
i will struggle ferociously
stave off the darkness
save the light in a
fighting retreat to the
north shore no despair
no despair
someday the life tides
will swell and smash me on the rocks
honorably then
may i be grokked
good enough?
i will struggle
with joy